Maintaining Friendships During Cuffing Season

As the cold weather starts to set it in, it means two things. *Christmas* and that cuffing season is upon us. This is when those summer/early fall flings define themselves. You either decide that it was fun while it lasted and part ways or you decide to take things to the next level.

As new love is in the air there is one aspect of your life that can end up being slighted — your friendships.Ā  You want to spend time with this special new person and your friends become an after thought.

Well, don’t do that! Your friends were there before you met Mr. Right and they will be there after if for some reason you realize he is Mr. Wrong. Make them a priority no matter what stage you are in your relationship.

Besides the fact that you should be a good friend to people who have been that to you, it is important to have a social life outside of your relationship.Ā  It is not possible for it to always be perfectly equal as each month has different obligations. Think of it as a balance scale though, you never want it to be too heavily weighted on one side.

Do activities during the week WITHOUT your SO’s

Go to happy hour, take a workout class, grab dinner, get manicures, etc. The ideas are endless! Find time after work to catch up and have some friend time. Even if it is only for short while it good to get some face time with your friends and take things out of the text bubble.

Do things on the the weekend with your friends in relationships

Try doing couples activities with your friends who are also dating someone. This could be as simple as a double date for dinner/bar hopping or an actual planned activity like pumpkin picking (since it’s the fall and I’m basic). You kill two birds with one stone by bringing the important people in your life together. There is also the added benefit of having a lot of fun!

Stay in tune with your friends’ day-to-day lives

It is easy to get caught up with our personal lives and forget to check in with people. I can admit that is something that I personally still need to work on. Don’t let your friendships get so distant that you are always playing catch up every time you see each other. Keep in contact so that you know what’s going on with them before you even see them in person.

Leave at least one weekend day/evening for “friend time”

This could be a night out, brunch, shopping, etc. If you can make it happen more than one weekend do it, but of course don’t beat yourself up if you can’t!

Be willing to adjust your schedule

If you have plans with your SO that are not iron clad and your friend suggests hanging out, consider shifting things to make yourself available. Binge watching your favorite show with your SO on Netflix does not count as a reason to not be free…

Maintaining friendships as an adult can be tricky, It is not like when we were younger and could see our friends everyday at school where hanging out was effortless. Our schedules are busy and don’t always align. You have to put in the effort to keep those friendships strong.

I am lucky to have friendships where I feel like a priority no matter what their relationship status is and I hope they feel the same way about me. Having a special someone in your life is amazing and it should be cherished, but a healthy balance of love and friendship is key.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to spend a lot of time with your significant other. You should be doing that! Just make sure to make time for your friends. Those relationships are just as important.





  1. Could this post be any more timely? Great advice!!šŸ’• It can be hard to maintain friendships in the midst of a new love but this post really helps to get in the right mentality.

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