Lex Thoughts

The Real Me…

I’ve noticed a lot of bloggers/influencers “getting real” on social media/their blogs. I’d like to think that as a Jersey girl I can, for lack of a better phrase, cut through the crap. I can tell when someone is being authentic and when he or she is being the best version of themselves. This isn’t a post to attack the authenticity of other bloggers though because me lambasting other people won’t lift me up, it will just make me a hater. So, while I can definitely see the real through the fake I’ll just say, “Do you boo”.

This post is about me. Speaking candidly, the “real me” doesn’t fit in with the sunshine and roses of other influencers. That is why I have chosen to keep it easy and breezy on social media. I’ve never not been me, but I definitely present the polished shiny less opinionated version of myself. I do notice that the moments when my veneer does crack I get better traction. Which begs the question, do I let it all hang out? I’m going to give you the nitty gritty fashionistas and you tell me.

 I complain/overreact a lot.

Yesterday, I was having issues with my blog email. It’s three days before fashion week and I could not access my invites. Pure panic ran through my veins. All was lost. My career as a blogger ruined. What was I going to do?! No seriously, these were real thoughts/proclamations.

After many sign-in attempts on my phone and laptop, I shrieked an obscenity only dogs could hear, dramatically threw my phone on the couch, grunted, stalked away, and slammed my bedroom door for good measure. Meanwhile, my boyfriend is just sitting there at his desk silently. In my imagination (because I didn’t stay to see his reaction) he simply blinked looking stunned. Moments later, I come out of my room and grab my phone because I realized I needed to call tech support (dramatic exit be damned). I slam the bedroom door (again) and dial the number preparing myself for a long wait. They answer immediately so I have no time to stew. A kind man tells me my account should be up and running within an hour. I walk back out to the living room sheepishly and my boyfriend smiles and says, “Did slamming the door make you feel better?” I shrug, “Kinda…”

End (very real/embarrassing) scene. PS- my blog email was back to normal less than 10 minutes after that call.

If you know me, you know that I panic in situations that can be easily resolved. I complain about everything. My frequent opening line is, “I’m so upset”. Then I go on and on about my microscopic issue. I know this about myself, but it’s word vomit that cannot be stopped. I am genuinely working on it though, I promise.

I’m grumpy/moody

My family calls me grumpy cat. I put on the sunny disposition when necessary, but I’d say the majority of the time I do resemble that very unpleasant looking cat. I am easily annoyed by people, things, noises, etc. I have legitimate fears of becoming that old woman who shouts, “Hey you kids pipe down out there!”

I’m funny

I’m grumpy, but I can find the humor in my overreactions. Yesterday, for example, was hilarious/great material. I can find a way to take the things that annoyed me and make it into a funny story. Quite frankly, it’s the only reason why people keep me around. You can’t have a storm cloud around you all of the time. You have to break it up with some laughs.

I’m naturally an introvert

Why do something as forward facing as blogging? Well, originally I wasn’t forwarding facing. I was the mystery girl behind the blog until I realized the girl behind the blog is more important than the blog sometimes. Going to events without a plus one is literally my definition of hell, but I have learned to push past the shyness and put myself out there. Yes, it’s fun to have a friend tag along, but it’s so much better to go alone when you’re forced to make new interactions. This is why I love fashion week. Shows with friends don’t always line up, so I am constantly forced out of my comfort zone. Can’t wait to see who I meet this season!

I am very into politics

I wasn’t always and I still have a lot to learn. My interest peaked in the 2012 general election. Something about that election woke something up in me. I can’t even pinpoint it. I watched every debate, I read all of the coverage, and I even started tallying the electoral votes on election night. After that, my interest never wavered. After 2016, it turned into an untamable beast. I go through phases where all I do is talk about it and phases where I say okay this is giving me some fatigue. With the midterms just around the corner, I am back to the former. We are in a state that scares me and are slowly becoming a country that I do not even recognize. I intend on using my little bit of power to make my voice heard. More on this later…

I care about social injustice

As an Afro-Caribbean, Afro-Latina, first generation, American woman how could I not care? Yes, I do have many moments of frivolous/selfish worries, but please do mistake that for me not caring about issues that are much greater than me. I grew up with a level of optimism. Things were changing for the better right? Well no they weren’t. Not when immigrant children are being kept in cages. Not when black men and women are being gunned down solely because of an officer’s fear/hate. Not when people of color are having the police called on them simply for existing. Not when women’s rights are taking steps backwards instead of forward. Not when LGBT rights are nowhere where they should be.

Nothing is okay right now. One thing I am grateful for is that everyone is speaking their minds freely. Whether I agree or disagree, at least I know where everyone stands. This includes the current president, I’m glad to know where the racist, sexist, xenophobe stands too.

That’s another thing, I hate Donald J. Trump with the fire of a thousand suns.

I’d like to say who you vote for doesn’t define who you are as a person. Voting for or against Donald Trump defines you though. I am happy to have always been on the right side of history. I can maybe understand 2016 (maybe), but with his constant divisive rhetoric that has only gotten worse (Charlottesville) voting for him in 2020 means you stand for what he believes. There is nothing you can say to change my mind, but you can certainly try.

Should share more of the “real me”?

Alexa Alfonso Cargo Pants

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