wedding planning

Lex Loves Weddings: Why I Am Keeping My Last Name

Fun Fact: Alfonso isn’t technically my last name. Well, it is, but being Latinx, my grandfather had multiple last names to choose from when he came into the country. He chose Alfonso while going through immigration.

Whether it was a split-second decision or thoroughly thought through, the gravity of that decision always stuck with me. My little family is Alfonso by choice.

Papa has been gone for 15 years this year. He had a surly and gruff exterior, but at his core I always felt his immense love.

He was the kind of man who would record a televised performance of The Nutcracker just because I said I want to be a ballerina when I grow up. Little things like this I didn’t appreciate as a child, but in adulthood understand the great thoughtfulness of the action.

Papa was my favorite. I know you’re not supposed to say that, but if there was one thing to say about him — he always was honest. So, I am following suit.

Before Brian proposed I had thought I would make my middle name Alfonso and take his last name. That was the plan. I was content with that decision.

Then we got engaged and it hit me, I am an Alfonso. There’s still so much to do with that last name and I cannot let it go. So, I am not changing it.

The Alfonso name is Papa. We honor him with every success and every milestone. He’s with us each time we sign our name, or it is said aloud. There’s gravity in that.

Ps — if you follow me on Instagram, then you may have seen that our wedding hashtag includes my future husband’s last name. That is because while I am legally and professionally keeping my last name. As a married couple (and hopefully future family) we will be The Sturdivants. That’s what works for me!

Deciding whether or not to keep your maiden name is a big decision. It’s also not a one size fits all situation. Dig deep within and don’t let outside forces influence your choice!

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